Just Me

Last week I watched yet another movie about love, romance and the challenges inherent in being vulnerable with another human being. Toward the end of the movie, a band played "Let's Get it On" by Marvin Gaye and I, much to my own surprise, burst into tears. The song speaks to me of surrendering oneself to love and I cried for what is missing in my life, aside from sex I mean, something that has been missing for years. And then I wondered if it is so much missing in my life as it is missing in myself (this distinction being meaningful to me if not to you), missing not just from my heart but from my everyday be-ing. A long time ago, the promise of love was replaced by the threat of wounding and I have to say that I'm really tired of living like this, beneath the sword of Damocles.
I am reminded of that contemporary call to arms "Be the change you want to see in the world," …. or more aptly "be the change you want to see in your life." I want to see hope and trust and love in my life. I want to see those things in me, but more so I want others to see them in me. I want to take the time to allow myself to think and feel and act with integrity and passion, to act with presence and awareness; and I want to allow others to see me this way. No rush, no urgency, no fear. Just me.