My Spider/My Self

I have a tattoo on my left hand, a tattoo of a black widow spider - you can see it in my profile photo. I occasionally get odd looks from people because of it. I was even reproached by my family doctor the first time he saw it. I told him that it held significant meaning for me but he persisted in believing that he had a right to criticize my choice.

I had a dream about a year ago ... I was bitten on my left hand by the Black Widow and while a nameless, faceless man panicked and ran off to get help, I lay quietly allowing her venom, her power, to flow into my body. I smiled and was at peace. So, why did I feel the need to get a tattoo because of this dream? I haven't really answered that question for myself yet, so let's see what I can come up with here.

Looking at this hand with the spider perched between thumb and forefinger, I think that it must belong to a woman who is strong and fearless. I think that she must be someone who knows who she is, someone who has the power to allow criticism and scorn to wash over her, who has compassion for those who fear and judge. It must not be easy to walk through life comfortably wearing such an audacious sign of her disregard for feminine gentility and social mores. This is a woman with her own ideas about what is important and what is not, a woman with her backbone in place and her heart leading the way. This is a woman whom I can admire.

I don't know that I would have the same reaction to this tattoo were it on another woman's hand but that is irrelevant to the question. Why do I have it? Because it reminds me of whom I am ... every day.